Ever have those moments where your brain just goes rogue? Like, you're trying to concentrate, maybe you're in a meeting, trying to look professional, and suddenly, *bam* – you're thinking about goats, bats, or, let's be honest, sometimes it's something way less dignified, like when can I take a break. It's like your brain is a mischievous little imp, throwing random thoughts and images at you just to see you squirm. It happens to me all the time. I'll be trying to be all serious and responsible, and my brain's like, "Hey, remember that meme from Insta? You should really find out what that weird smell is in your fridge. You should quit and hike the AT. What do you mean this isn't reasonable?" It's... persistent.
It's especially frustrating when I'm trying to be a good person. You know, the kind of person who's present, who listens, who's thoughtful and kind. I'm trying to pay attention to what my kids are saying about their day, trying to really be there for my partner, trying to focus in that important meeting at work – and then, goat, bat, or, you know… whatever. It's like these thoughts are deliberately interrupting my efforts to be a decent human being. It's a constant battle, this internal tug-of-war between my conscious intentions and the random noise in my head.
Maybe they're right. It might sound strange, but I find it hard to believe these are *just* random thoughts. These intrusive images aren't *just* random firings of neurons. I think they're a reflection of my subconscious, a glimpse into the hidden corners of my mind. They're trying to get my attention, to point me towards something I'm ignoring. Maybe it's a fear, maybe it's a desire, maybe it's just a reminder that I'm not as in control as I like to think I am. I don't have all the answers, but I do know that these thoughts are parts of me, parts of my complicated human experience. And maybe, just maybe, there's something to be learned from them, even the weird ones. Maybe the goat is a symbol of stubbornness, the bat a symbol of fear. Or maybe they're just a goat and a bat. But I can't help but wonder…
So, how *do* I deal with these guests in my mind? How do I stay focused on what truly matters when my brain is constantly being bombarded? How do I find peace in a world that's so noisy, so chaotic? I start with intention. I try to be clear about what I value, what I want to achieve, what kind of person I want to be. It's not enough to just vaguely want to be "good." I have to define what "good" means to me, specifically. What actions, what behaviors, embody those values? What does it look like to be the person *I* want to be? It's not about comparing myself to some external ideal, but about aligning myself with my own internal compass. What are my core principles? What do I stand for? These are the questions I have to ask myself, and answer honestly.
And then, once I've defined my intentions, I have to be vigilant. Vigilance isn't just about paying attention. It's about actively, consciously choosing to align my actions with my intentions. It's about constantly checking in with myself, asking, "Is this what I want? Is this how I want to respond? Is this moving me closer to my goals?" It's hard work, and it requires a lot of self-awareness. It means being honest with myself, even when it's uncomfortable. It means recognizing my weaknesses, my biases, my tendencies to self-sabotage. And it means choosing, again and again, to act in accordance with my values, even when it's difficult.
But even with the best intentions and the most vigilant efforts, things don't always go according to plan. Life throws us curveballs. I make mistakes. I say the wrong things, probably more often than most, although that's because I witness them more than when another does it. I hurt the people I love. Sometimes, despite my best efforts, I fall short. It's part of being human, and it's taken me until now to really accept that. It's only recently that I've begun to understand that it's okay. What's important is that in those moments, when I've messed up, when I've fallen short, that I recognize that I have a choice. I can try to deny it, pretending it didn't happen. I can try to blame someone else. Or I can own it. I can admit my mistakes, learn from the moment, and use the experience for next time. That's not always easy, and sometimes I double down, try to escape, only to come back and try to re-build. It's a messy process, this whole being human thing.
The truth I've found is that we're all just stumbling through life, trying to figure things out as we go. We're all imperfect, we all make mistakes, and that's okay. That's what makes us human. It's the struggle that makes us who we are. There are those who claim to have all the answers, who promise a path to perfection, a way to transcend the messy reality of human existence. They offer enlightenment, a shortcut to happiness. I'm skeptical of those who offer one narrow path to walk. I think perfection is a myth, a beautiful but unattainable dream. I think the pursuit of perfection can actually be a dangerous thing. It led me to a lot of self-criticism, judgment, and a constant feeling of inadequacy. It made me shrink, afraid to take any responsible and look for an escape. This was all true for me until I met my partner. They gave me a smile, loved me just even when I was at my worse, and really helped me find happiness within my being.
I think happiness is to accept ourselves, flaws and all. To be happy we have to embrace our imperfections, learn from our mistakes, and keep moving forward. We have to be kind to ourselves first and be kind to others the best we can. So, the next time a goat pops into your head in the middle of a meeting, don't panic. Don't beat yourself up about it. Just acknowledge it, maybe even chuckle about it, and then gently redirect your attention back to what you were doing. Because life is too short to be constantly fighting against our own brains. We're all a little bit weird, a little bit flawed, a little bit distracted, and that's what makes us interesting. That's what makes us human and that's what makes life worth living. Find the humor in the chaos, the beauty in the imperfection, the strength in the vulnerability. So accept the goats, the bats, and all the other random thoughts that wander through your minds, knowing that they're just a part of the wonderfully messy tapestry of being human. Embrace your funk. You deserve to exist. No one deserves it more.